


Sam's Flesh

by kinkylittlered



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cutting, Incest, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-30
Updated: 2011-05-30
Packaged: 2017-10-19 22:34:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/205954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinkylittlered/pseuds/kinkylittlered
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam in caught cutting and Dean helps him the only way he knows how.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sam's Flesh

Title: Sam's Flesh  
Author: Cassie  
Warnings: Slash, Cutting

 

Sam had never felt complete, he had never felt a mother's loving touch and he had never felt the warmth that love could ignite in ones soul. Sam had only ever known monsters, hunting and blood. In his mind it was fitting that all of the sorrow that blood had caused would be embodied in the release of blood. Each slice of the razor, each layer of skin giving way for the sorrow to find freedom was Sam's comfort. His razorblade would become his mother's loving touch, and the time spent hiding his sin would become his game.

Sam knew his father would never understand, he knew that to his father life was precious and so easily taken away. To Sam life couldn't be taken away fast enough. Sam knew his only salvation was his brother, the brother who had now discovered girls. At nineteen Dean was tall, strong and tan, what he lacked in brains he made up with bronze. His sole distraction from hunting monsters was hunting females. This left Sam alone more often than not, and at fifteen Sam was just beginning to long for a companion. As a child he had delved into books, and never cared if Dean and his father were off on a hunt. Now in the silence that filled the small motel room Sam knew he needed to find company least the razor win.

Hours passed like days and soon the glare of the razor became too much for him to bear. Slice after slice he felt the cold embrace of metal against flesh, the familiar sting never comparing to the sting within his heart. The world was spinning out of control and soon darkness overcame Sam Winchester.

"Sammy? Sammy wake up, come on man"

Worry filled Dean's voice as he shook his brother, almost afraid to touch him. The scene before him would haunt his nightmares; Sam was covered in blood, his skin pale and cold. Shallow breaths were the only presence of life. For Sam's own protection Dean did not run to get his father, instead he simply wrapped his brother's wrists and crawled in bed next to him.

Sam awoke to Dean's arms around him, holding him close as though he was afraid a monster would steal his brother. Little did Dean know, Sam was the monster. Within him had grown a bitter resentment to the world around him, to his very pulse. The thought of remaining alone forever haunted Sam, and he knew there would be no escape from the pain. His life was meant to be hunting and he felt as though the devil was inside his very body, always pushing him to think of the afterlife he longed to join.

Sam couldn't help but cringe away from Dean's touch; the warmth and the clear love burned his flesh. The thought of accepting any charity his brother might offer was too much. Sam had never asked for help and he would not begin asking now. Sliding away from Dean, Sam felt a calloused hand hold onto his arm.

"Easy there, Sammy. We have a lot to talk about man" Dean had hardly been able to sleep; the only comfort was Sam's chest heaving every few seconds. When Sam shifted Dean was instantly alert.

"Talk about what Dean?"

"The fact that you are hurting yourself" Dean pulled Sam closer to his chest, dreading looking his kid brother in the eye.

"What does it matter to you what I do?"

"Sam, I'm your brother I obviously care about you. Your blood man, I love you"

"And if I wasn't blood? Would you love me then? Get the fuck off me, you don't care now and you didn't care before you knew." Sam attempted to break away from his brother's vice-like grip but quickly discovered his brother only pulled him closer.

"What are you talking about? I have always loved you, hell I practically raised you" Dean couldn't help but feel hurt by his brother's words, after all he had spent his entire childhood making sure his Sammy was okay. Nothing had changed over the years, even now that he was not always around.

"Dean if you loved me you wouldn't leave me all the time. You wouldn't leave me alone. I'm always alone."

"Sammy I'm sorry I've been hunting so much, I'll take less jobs if it helps"

"God your stupid, it isn't the hunts. You leave as soon as you are done with a job, like you can't stand being with me for another instant."

"What am I suppose to do Sam? Stay home all the time? I'm a man, I have needs and I'm not going to waste time trying to fill them on my own in the bathroom"

"I could fill them."

"Sammy, uh dude I'm talking about sex, not company."

"Am I that terrible looking?" Sam was suddenly feeling rejected even though he had never thought about his brother in a sexual way. Well not frequently, although at times he had let his eyes linger on the firm muscles of his brother's back or the way Dean's pants and shirt left just a bit of skin showing in between. Aside from the moments where Sam wondered if he was gay he had never thought about his brother in a sexual way.

"What are you talking about? Sam, I think I am going to have to pretend I did not just hear that" Den felt his pulse quicken and he suddenly began to wonder if sleeping with his brother would provide the comfort Sam so desperately needed. Dean pushed the thought away quickly and replacing it with a chant of "incest incest incest".

Tears welled in Sam's eyes, rejection scorching his heart. Pulling away quickly, Sam managed to maneuver his body out from under his brother's arm. Walking quickly, he was into the bathroom in seconds. Slamming the door he locked it quickly, knowing Dean could kick it open if he really felt the need.

"Sam, you've got to be kidding me. You can't honestly be mad at me for not wanting to sleep with my brother." Dean lay on the bed, his eyes wide as he shook his head in confusion.

"Just fuck off Dean, if you actually cared about me you wouldn't reject me" Sam couldn't help but cock his head to the side after he screamed the words. He was just as confused as Dean, and he had never honestly wanted to have sex with his brother before. Now as he sat on the bathroom floor he began to believe that if his brother really did love him he would want him sexually. The jump was a confusing one, but it was one Sam's mind had made.

There was no going back, after all guilt was the only tool Sam really had. He knew his brother would not let him live down the demand, even if he claimed he was kidding. Sam was going to have to follow through with his claim if he expected any escape from his brother's taunts. If Dean felt his brother was serious than he wouldn't tease him, in fact he would probably just avoid him for the rest of his life.

"Okay Sam, if that is what you want."


End file.
